Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Alert: More Red Hook Reality!

CHARTS (Concerned Hilbloecockers Against Reality Tv Shows), in conjunction with its parent organization CHEATS (Concerned Hilbloecockers Enraged About Tv Shoots) is holding an emergency meeting this Thursday to address the latest reality blip on the South Brooklyn radar.

As reported by NYT, a new reality docu-soap is being filmed at South Brooklyn Community High School, with real teens "acting" out their real life dramas for the cameras.

Please help us put an end to this insanity, and restore class and dignity to the streets of Red Hook. Join CHARTS and/or CHEATS today!

Monday, September 15, 2008

Good Penmanship on Display in Carroll Gardens

While raw emotions have been on display frequently in the debate over the controversial 360 Smith building, we rarely get to enjoy some good, old-fashioned handwriting! But now CORD, which I believe stands for Cursive On Rugged Display, has provided the neighborhood with a sign full of swirly, fanciful letters.

IMHO: I do enjoy seeing some classy handwriting in the neighborhood, But must Every other Word be Capitalized? There seems to be some major over-capitalization happening here, and I worry that any 2nd graders who encounter this sign may become confused by the standard rules of cursive and the renegade writing exhibited here.

For anyone who needs a refresher:

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Great Moments in NIMBYism: Red Hook hates on the Real World

An article in amNY highlights the admirable NIMBYism of the resilient residents of Red Hook - they're treating the Real World cast and crew like shit!

This falls out of the jurisdiction of CHARTS and CHEATS, which pertain only to television shoots in HilBloeCoc. But we all should be proud of our Hook neighbors for giving the RW'ers some good old fashioned Brooklyn love.

IMHO: Even though I have no sympathy for anyone ever, I would encourage people to continue harassing the cast, but give the crew a break - it's just their job, and they probably hate the cast more than we do!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

More Bars = More Foul Language

What's with all these bars continually cropping up on Smith Street? What ever happened to the good ol' days of drinking alone in front of the TV?

It seems another hipster haven is headed to HilBloeCoc. This one is Char 4, and it's serving up BBQ and lots of whiskey.

This is getting out of hand! Now I don't mind a good stiff drink time and again, but there's a sickening by-product to this proliferation of bars: public cussing. Drunken hipsters with vulgar vocabularies are eroding the quality of life in Carroll Gardens.

IMHO: These bars and their cussy clientele - yogurts, yunnies, hipsters - violate our earspace with f-words, gosh dangit! Let's close them all!!

Friday, August 29, 2008

Poor Oliver!

The developer of Oliver House at 360 Smith lost their appeal to build their 700 story skyscraper (the largest ever constructed in the Americas) at the corner of 2nd Place and Smith Street. But it's only a matter of time before Oliver House appeals for...

... more please.

IMHO: I am hilarious! Admit it!

Everybody Loves NIMBY

A new article on Planetizen is all about me, your lovable neighborhood NIMBY. Since it's almost Labor Day (yay!) I'm not in the mood to read it.

That Planetizen has taken the time to acknowledge the hard work I've poured into my quest to erradicate hipsters, hippies, yuppies, yunnies, yogurts, strollers, babies, dogs, dog poop, IKEA, BJs, and everything else "new" from our perfect brownstone paradise truly means the world to me.

IMHO: It's about time NIMBY got some respect around here!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Brooklynites to Receive BJs

It's no longer just the Swedes destroying Red Hook. According to The Brooklyn Paper, BJ's Wholesale Club is dropping anchor at the old Revere Sugar factory down the street from the crime-ridden IKEA!

First of all, who even has enough space in their apartment for 55-gallon drums of ketchup?

And what's with the name? Couldn't they have come up with a less sexually provocative name? Why not call it GloryWholesale! Perhaps they didn't want to be confused with the popular Cobble Hill hook-up joint Gobble Hole.

IMHO: HilBloeCoc doesn't need BJ's.