Monday, June 23, 2008

Hoyt Oyster Bar to destroy fabric of society

While everyone has been worried about the noise that the new oyster bar on Hoyt and Union might generate for its neighbors, has nobody considered the moral repercussions? Oysters can change their sex several times throughout their lifetime - they're the trannies of the sea!

Do we want the loose morality and decadence of oysters trashing up our Carroll Gardens streets? Certainly all these newcomer hipsters with their floppy hair will be slurping a few of these slippery gender-benders, but what about our impressionable children?

IMHO: Today, it's an oyster bar. Tomorrow, it's a sexual revolution!


Jill said...

Oysters are still alive until the moment you put the lemon on them. So in addition to sex change, you are also killing your own food at table.

oldballs said...

not to mention that oysters are known to make people get into "the mood" if you know what i mean. just what this neighborhood needs... more hipster babies running around.