Monday, June 30, 2008

NIMBY's Guide to LICH Playground


A controversy is brewing at LICH on Henry Street regarding the state of its public playground. Gowanus Lounge has brought us all the shocking details of the playground's disrepair, which include stagnant water, garbage, and rats. These are obviously not ideal conditions for a playground, so I've decided to post some helpful hints for parents to deal with the situation:

1. Don't bring your children to LICH playground.
I know this sounds extreme, but just hear me out. Apparently, there are other parks in the city. I may be wrong.*

2. Move out of Brooklyn.
You won't have to worry about LICH playground if you don't live anywhere nearby!

3. Put your children up for adoption.
If you put your kids up for adoption, you can recalim your life, stop worrying about playgrounds altogether, and move into a nicer apartment. You may think putting your child up for adoption is cruel, but who's to say your child won't be adopted by wealthier, better-looking parents with a swimming pool?

*I am never wrong. Ever.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

NIMBY, you have no clue.

Anonymous said...

#2 and #3 would also help relieve congestion on the sidewalks too.

oldballs said...

let me tell ya something folks. this is only the beginning. why is it that hipsters think it's ok to move to MY CITY to first make everything more expensive, then produce mini-hipsters? i hear there's now some sort of birthday party kiddie place on court street now... what happened to having a party in the park or (god forbid) at home? hipsters just like paying for stuff i guess...