Wednesday, July 9, 2008

'Thank us for destroying Carroll Gardens!'

Any concerned Carroll Gardener (or anyone from HilBloeCoc for that matter) should be outraged by the smug attitudes exhibited today in the New York Time's profile of Alan Harding and Jim Mamary, who can be thanked for turning our adorable brownstone heaven into a purgatorial playground for hipsters, yuppies, yunnies, the stroller mafia, and, of course, yogurts!

They're the villains who opened Patois, Gowanus Yacht Club, Zombie Hut, Union Smith Cafe, Pacifico, Trout, and the infamous Oyster Bar. Sure, I patronize these establishments, but only because there are simply no other (decent) alternatives! I hate myself for it!

Alan Harding actually has the nerve to say this about destroying Carroll Gardens:
“If we hadn’t done it, somebody else would have. But I just wish they’d thank us instead of chasing us through the streets with pitchforks.”
How clueless is this guy? Not only is he oblivious to the destruction he's left in his wake, he's just as oblivious when it comes to our mob weapons! Those weren't pitchforks, you idiot. They were tridents! Big difference.

Pitchfork:


Trident:

Pitchforks are for hay, tridents are for WAR!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow. Do you go around saying "when I was a child, this all used to be farmland."?

Anonymous said...

Pitchforks, dummy. What peasants used to chase out witches, vampires, and Frankenstein. That was his reference.

Anonymous said...

"Destruction in their wake?" The world evolves - nothing stands still forever. If you looked at the changes in your neighborhood as progress, maybe you could walk around and enjoy life a little. We're talking about bistros and cheese shops and bookstores -- not crack dens and drive-by shootings.

Anonymous said...

Look. I have lived in CGs pre Patios. If you got home after 8pm, nothing was open. On Sundays, Nothing was open. Mondays the same.

Alan Harding is not an evil man. He is a guy who brought real food to CGs. Seriously, if you wanted food your choice was Buddy's, Chinese, or Italian or Italian or Italian( pizza shop pasta).

loose stool said...

5:10, it was beautiful farmland, I can still hear my wooden shoes on the cobble stone streets, none of the belgian marble shit. 6:27, anybody knows a cheese shop is a gateway for bathtub crank. 6:42 If you want watercress sandwiches go to Manhattan, instead of sashaying up and down Smith St with your pinky sticking out.

Anonymous said...

Gimme a break. You are so melodramatic. If you don't like the neighborhood, you should move to East NY. I hear they don't have any cute cheese shops.

Rich said...

um. I think the original post may have been, oh, just a wee bit ironic. i know subtle humor ad parody sometimes get lost in print, but come on let what you read sink in before reaching for your outrage and ridicule.

Anonymous said...

I have lived in Carroll Gardens for over 50 years, born & raised.
Who in their right mind would think that Smith St or the neighborhood has been destroyed?
Restaurant row is the best thing to happen to Smith St since the 1950's when it used to be a thriving commercial strip.
Wake up fools, let's nver go back to empty storefronts and broken sidewalks!

bored at work said...

If you dont like their restaurants (and I dont), then dont patronize them. To say that their are no other choices flies in the face of reality.

I agree that their attitude is completely smug and patronizing, but the fact is, if they didnt bring restaurants to Smith Street, someone else would have. I would prefer something besides their brand of formula restaurants with awful food and service, but as long as people go there, and they make money, they will repeat the formula forever.

Anonymous said...

JOHNNY WAS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!